Signing Off – Marbles Largely Intact

This blog was going to be my way of helping you, my children and grandchildren, to deepen your sense of roots by helping you get to know your more recent ancestors and their stories, “the good, the bad, and the ugly” as I wrote in my first blog. Judging by your overwhelming response to my blogs (sarcasm runs in the family, remember) I wondered why I was writing it, and for whom? Know your audience, the all-knowing ‘they’ have declared! And that audience, at least for now, isn’t you. You’re likely in a different place right now, like I was at your age, with different priorities. So, who is my audience?

Upon reflection, I realize that audience might also be me! In reflecting on my difficult childhood, and the part my parents played, I’ve had a revelation. My research has helped me to understand the world that my parents inhabited, at that time in that place, and in those personal circumstances. I’ve been able to see them as whole people, to forgive them, and to let them off the hook. And in this new-found empathy for both my parents, I’ve found some healing. Any anger or bitterness I have felt towards my parents has begun to melt away, like salt crystals on an icy road. My path forward seems smoother and clearer.

I am looking forward to continuing my healing journey as I keep researching and writing my story and recording the life-lessons I have learned. It could end up being published someday, but more likely it will end up in a dusty desk drawer, or on a technologically obsolete external hard drive. That’s okay. Maybe, someday, when you’re ready, you’ll read it and it will help you too. I hope so. It’s partly why I’m writing it. And now I’m going to focus, instead, on enjoying my old age with the family that I love.

Sue and Nicky, 1960 ca.

By the way, it turns out that my marbles, at least for the foreseeable future, are safe. I’ve recently gone through extensive cognitive testing plus a brain scan and there is no sign of Alzheimer’s. (Although I was totally unable to count backwards from 100 in increments of seven. I hate math).

So, I’m going to be signing off. My blog address at www.losingmarbles.ca will soon be shut down.

With love and gratitude for all of you,

This is Mom, Nana, G.G. (Great Grandmother) signing off.